From down Mexico Way

Southern Mel
Daily Mercury, August 11

I’ve got a confession to make. No I’m not a man. Nor do I have six toes. Although some readers may consider it a deformity.

Here it goes… I’m from down south, way south. Melbourne’s suburbs to be exact. Yes, that’s right I’m a Mexican.

If I had a dollar for every time someone here called me one I would be rich. Okay, maybe $50 richer. Actually, I’d probably have more in my back pocket if I had $1 for every Mexican I’ve met in the Mack. Melbournites, Sydneysiders, South Australians and even Tasmanians have invaded the city. And we’re all here to take your jobs and whine and moan about the state of the place.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Mackay. But like every Mexican, I am guilty of sometimes starting my sentences with ‘down south we…’. Moving to a regional city, like Mackay, requires a lot of adjustment and I’m still getting there.

I remember how fast my heart sank when I discovered, upon my arrival, that I couldn’t shop on a Sunday. I also remember the time I drove to the shops on a Friday night only to discover they were shut. Woops, I forgot I was about 2300kms north of the fashion capital.

Come to think of it, Mackay is the same distance from the nation’s sporting capital and home of the AFL, Australia’s greatest game. You may disagree, but there is only Holy Grail and it’s not State of Origin glory.

Although, I will admit that I quite enjoyed the clean-sweep. I may be from down south, but it sure feels good to crush a cockroach. It would also feel good to get a dollar every time I commented on my Melbourne friends’ Facebook statuses that said ‘I’m freezing’, ‘over this rain’, or ‘finally shaking the flu’.

There’s one thing I don’t miss about Melbourne – and that’s the weather. Mum and Dad, I’ll see you when the sun comes out in September for the march to the Holy Grail.