Daily Mercury, September 1 2010
AMY Winehouse has the bird’s nest. Donald Trump has the comb over. Joe Dirt has the mullet. Mackay has... err, the rat’s tail.
When I arrived in Mackay I thought I had stepped back in time to the early 1990s when MC Hammer was cool and acid wash jeans were all the rage.
I’m probably about to hit a nerve, but there is no way I, in the words of MC Hammer, ‘can’t touch this’ subject.
Before I moved to Mackay, I hadn’t seen a rat’s tail for at least 15 years.
Actually, I reckon the last time I saw one was on my younger brother when he was about five. For some reason my mum, who gave me my beautiful blunt fringe as a youngster, decided it would be a good idea for my bro to grow a rat’s tail. I remember that my nanna kept threatening to get out the scissors and cut it off.
At the time, I thought my nanna was being mean but now I realise that she had good reason to want to give his rat’s tail the big chop.
Guys, I am yet to talk to any girl who thinks a long tail of hair sprouting from the back of a man’s head is attractive.
And I’m pretty sure the circa 1990s hairstyle won’t do you any favours when it comes to getting a job.
So why do so many guys sport rat’s tails in Mackay? Is it because they absorb the sweat dripping down their necks in the hot, humid weather?
Do they provide a good conversation starter down at Sails on a Sunday? Am I missing something here?
What I didn’t miss one night at the gym were the six guys with rat’s tails working out.
Maybe this gives credence to the sweat theory, but boys your buff bodies won’t be the first thing a gal notices. It will be the hair sprouting from the back of your neck.
My housemate is Mackay born and bred and also struggles to explain this rat’s tail phenomena. And we think it’s no coincidence that a giant’s rat’s tail is also a noxious weed.
I was happy to escape Melbourne’s bad emo hairstyles and mohawk resurgence.
Now I feel the urge to carry a pair of scissors in my bag in fear of that dreaded hairy rat.
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