Southern Mel
Daily Mercury, September 15 2010
DON’T you hate it when...?
Don’t you hate it when some random guy asks to sip your mojito, and when you say “no” their friend says “good choice, he’s got aids”?
Don’t you hate it when someone doesn’t pull their weight, especially when they appear to be carrying the most of it?
Don’t you hate it when you move into a new house and scratch your car on the side of the carport when you have only lived there two days and your housemate did exactly the same thing the day before?
Don’t you hate it when you move to a regional centre in Queensland and realise it’s the only one without a Sizzler and an all-you-can-eat Pizza Hut is four hours up the road?
Don’t you hate it when you have to go back to Melbourne where it’s wet and horrible, while it’s sunny and 27 degrees in Mackay?
Don’t you hate it when someone tells you a story then delivers the same one five times even though they know you are still within earshot?
Don’t you hate it when someone hacks your Facebook account and puts on your status that you were intimate with someone last night when you haven’t been getting “intimate” for some time?
Don’t you hate it when an adult has a hissy fit like a 13-year-old and then proceeds to sulk for a week when they realise nobody appreciated it?
Don’t you hate it when you realise you went one beer too far?
Don’t you hate it when people dirty your bed sheet, especially when they didn’t ask to sleep in your bed?
Don’t you hate it when someone presumes you don’t like Mackay just because you’re a southerner?
Don’t you hate it when your friend gets drunk and stains your carpet, smears fingerprints all over your car windscreen or steals your alcohol?
Don’t you hate when someone spends more time whinging about their workload than they spend doing actual work?
Don’t you hate it when, don’t you just hate it when?!
Don’t you hate it when you get to the end of a column and realise there was no point to it? Sorry, I knew you may have hated it but I just had to do it.
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